Monday, February 27, 2012

I Don't Know What You Should Do

Because I don't know what I should do half the time. 

It feels disingenuous of me to come here today and give you advice on how to live blissfully.

I don’t like giving the impression that things for me are smooth sailing, that I’ve got it all figured out, and I never have any struggles. Or that I know what’s best for you. That I’m, like, enlightened or something. (Ha!)

Because the last few months have been harder on me than I care to publicly admit. Yet, I think I’ll do just that, but in a careful way.

I’m suspicious of blogs that air all the dirty laundry, or just talk about how hard everything is, and it amounts to a big dose of voyeurism and spleen venting and not a whole lot of what’s edifying and inspiring and hopeful.

I read a lot of mommy blogs now that I’m a mama, and there are two main camps: the “oh I can’t take it anymore, this is so HARD!” blogs, and the “life is perfect, my children are perfect, here’s how to be like me!” blogs. I really don’t like the former (even if they’re funny, which they often are, but it seems to be cynical humor), and while I’m drawn to the latter (like I’m drawn to pretty magazine spreads in Martha Stewart Living or what have you), I feel a little bit deflated after I read them, I feel a little bit of confusion about why someone else’s life seems so much more polished or put together than mine does. I’m often left wondering what they have that I don’t.

That’s why when I found a blog called Momastery that shares just enough of what’s real and authentic about motherhood—the daily struggles, the big love, the confusion and the joy—and also what she hopes for, what she believes in and what motivates her to keep going when things are difficult, that I knew I’d found a better model for what I’d like to do here at Gimme Bliss.

It’s been so important for me to accentuate the positive, as the song goes, because I firmly believe that my purpose in life is to bring light and vitality to the world and honor my spirit and yours, for that matter. The only way I can do that here is to write in a way that offers hope and a pathway to peace. Where I’ve been perhaps falling down, though, is in unwittingly presenting to you that the hope and the path to peace come easily for me, or spontaneously.

I’m so reluctant to share the darker moments and the bigger struggles out of a fear that I’ll either reveal too much about myself to a judging, aggressive world, or that I’ll spend too much time in wallowing and depress everyone.

But I think I’ve got some useful models about how to move forward in a way that feels authentic and retains integrity.

My goal is that when you come to visit me here, you’ll find a peer with a very normal life who just happens to be very interested in pursuing the big questions of life in a way that guides me to greater peace, a greater awareness of the bliss out of which our world arises. I am interested in unveiling my awareness—removing the obstacles to greater peace—and by writing about it, my hope is to share a path that is not so much an example as it is an inspiration. After all, everyone’s path is personal, so mimicry will not help.

But, just as those mamas who write about what’s best about motherhood, and what keeps them hopeful during the hardest times, so I hope to demonstrate that a normal life, with its unique struggles and joys, can benefit immensely from a quest to live more blissfully, and with a greater experience of peace. 

Thank you for joining me here. I deeply appreciate each of you.

Love to you all,

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