OK, so there's not really a surprise here, but doesn't hearing that word make your heart skip a beat, make you a little more alert and inquisitive?
As many of us get ready to tear into wrapping paper, I thought I would write a little ode to surprise. After all, isn't most of the fun of gift-getting not knowing what will be revealed after the paper comes off? And if we got truly everything we asked for, with no surprise, wouldn't that take away a lot of the fun?
Kids love surprise. They recognize that there is thrill in the unknown. Along the way, some of us lose our tolerance for surprise. We think we want things under our control, since surprise can also bring us negative things. Isn't cancer as much of a surprise as opening a package to reveal the Compact Oxford English Dictionary you had no idea your husband knew you lusted after? (Um, that's obviously mine. Feel free to insert your own coveted object.)
As exciting as surprise can be, it can also be scary. The trouble is, when we remove surprise, or engineer our lives to minimize it, we lose something important. We lose the events that challenge us, that teach us, that bring us joy and suffering. We lose an awful lot of living.
And so when a friend of mine told me she didn't like her sprawling, suburbanized city because it lacked surprise, I knew instantly what she meant. A day of rote living--get up, shower, dress, breakfast, drive to work, sit there for 8 hours, drive back, dinner, sleep--is a zombie-like existence. Not to say that every day will be surprising, but you have to believe that there is the possibility of surprise in your life, that there's space and opportunity for it to happen.
Take a look at your life. See what is squeezing out the chance for surprise. It could be a job, or a way of thinking, or a behavior that's become habit. Find a way to allow the possibility for surprise back into your life.
The root of the word, incidentally, means 'to capture.' Think of the moment a child opens up a gift and is surprised. Think of the moment someone says something to you that you didn't expect. You are arrested, captured, captivated. You are, for a moment, suspended from what you were doing, and given the chance to feel something, or take stock, or change your perspective.
Those moments of captivity are precious, and fleeting, and enormously instructive. Embrace surprise, or, maybe more accurately, allow surprise to embrace you.
Because of the holiday, I'm taking a brief break from posting, but I'll be back after Christmas. May you have many happy surprises in the meantime!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Surprise!
OK, so there's not really a surprise here, but doesn't hearing that word make your heart skip a beat, make you a little more alert and inquisitive?
As many of us get ready to tear into wrapping paper, I thought I would write a little ode to surprise. After all, isn't most of the fun of gift-getting not knowing what will be revealed after the paper comes off? And if we got truly everything we asked for, with no surprise, wouldn't that take away a lot of the fun?
Kids love surprise. They recognize that there is thrill in the unknown. Along the way, some of us lose our tolerance for surprise. We think we want things under our control, since surprise can also bring us negative things. Isn't cancer as much of a surprise as opening a package to reveal the Compact Oxford English Dictionary you had no idea your husband knew you lusted after? (Um, that's obviously mine. Feel free to insert your own coveted object.)
As exciting as surprise can be, it can also be scary. The trouble is, when we remove surprise, or engineer our lives to minimize it, we lose something important. We lose the events that challenge us, that teach us, that bring us joy and suffering. We lose an awful lot of living.
And so when a friend of mine told me she didn't like her sprawling, suburbanized city because it lacked surprise, I knew instantly what she meant. A day of rote living--get up, shower, dress, breakfast, drive to work, sit there for 8 hours, drive back, dinner, sleep--is a zombie-like existence. Not to say that every day will be surprising, but you have to believe that there is the possibility of surprise in your life, that there's space and opportunity for it to happen.
Take a look at your life. See what is squeezing out the chance for surprise. It could be a job, or a way of thinking, or a behavior that's become habit. Find a way to allow the possibility for surprise back into your life.
The root of the word, incidentally, means 'to capture.' Think of the moment a child opens up a gift and is surprised. Think of the moment someone says something to you that you didn't expect. You are arrested, captured, captivated. You are, for a moment, suspended from what you were doing, and given the chance to feel something, or take stock, or change your perspective.
Those moments of captivity are precious, and fleeting, and enormously instructive. Embrace surprise, or, maybe more accurately, allow surprise to embrace you.
Because of the holiday, I'm taking a brief break from posting, but I'll be back after Christmas. May you have many happy surprises in the meantime!
As many of us get ready to tear into wrapping paper, I thought I would write a little ode to surprise. After all, isn't most of the fun of gift-getting not knowing what will be revealed after the paper comes off? And if we got truly everything we asked for, with no surprise, wouldn't that take away a lot of the fun?
Kids love surprise. They recognize that there is thrill in the unknown. Along the way, some of us lose our tolerance for surprise. We think we want things under our control, since surprise can also bring us negative things. Isn't cancer as much of a surprise as opening a package to reveal the Compact Oxford English Dictionary you had no idea your husband knew you lusted after? (Um, that's obviously mine. Feel free to insert your own coveted object.)
As exciting as surprise can be, it can also be scary. The trouble is, when we remove surprise, or engineer our lives to minimize it, we lose something important. We lose the events that challenge us, that teach us, that bring us joy and suffering. We lose an awful lot of living.
And so when a friend of mine told me she didn't like her sprawling, suburbanized city because it lacked surprise, I knew instantly what she meant. A day of rote living--get up, shower, dress, breakfast, drive to work, sit there for 8 hours, drive back, dinner, sleep--is a zombie-like existence. Not to say that every day will be surprising, but you have to believe that there is the possibility of surprise in your life, that there's space and opportunity for it to happen.
Take a look at your life. See what is squeezing out the chance for surprise. It could be a job, or a way of thinking, or a behavior that's become habit. Find a way to allow the possibility for surprise back into your life.
The root of the word, incidentally, means 'to capture.' Think of the moment a child opens up a gift and is surprised. Think of the moment someone says something to you that you didn't expect. You are arrested, captured, captivated. You are, for a moment, suspended from what you were doing, and given the chance to feel something, or take stock, or change your perspective.
Those moments of captivity are precious, and fleeting, and enormously instructive. Embrace surprise, or, maybe more accurately, allow surprise to embrace you.
Because of the holiday, I'm taking a brief break from posting, but I'll be back after Christmas. May you have many happy surprises in the meantime!
Monday, December 17, 2007
The Gimme Bliss Greatest Hits Mix Tape
Hi there. I'm Tiffany, and this is my blog, Gimme Bliss. Yesterday, I asked a bunch of people who regularly read this blog to send the link to a friend. If you're that friend and this is your first time here, welcome.
In case you're not sure what this is all about, take a look around. But maybe you'd like a little more direction? If so, below, find my personal favorites from the past few months:
In case you're not sure what this is all about, take a look around. But maybe you'd like a little more direction? If so, below, find my personal favorites from the past few months:
- How to Shift to Solution-Oriented Thinking
- How to Identify Your Resources
- The Upside to Rock Bottom
- Ask Gimme Bliss: When to Make the Leap?
- How to Get Out of Your Own Way
- How Badly Do You Want Your Bliss?
- Find Your Self. Then Trust It.
- How Old Would You Feel If You Didn't Know Your Age?
- Bliss Is In Your Nature
- Ask the Universe for Help in Finding Your Bliss
What I Want For Christmas...
If you regularly read and enjoy this blog, I would like to ask you to do two things in return for the encouragement you get here. Don't worry--it won't cost you anything, and will only take up a little bit of your time.
The first thing I'd like for Christmas is for you to send a link to this blog to someone if and only if you think they might get something out of it. The major satisfaction I get from this blog is knowing that it might inspire or motivate people to take a look at their lives and make sure they're not wasting the precious time they have here. Life is such a gift, and if you think throwing a $2 million necklace in the ocean is hard to watch, seeing people squander their priceless lives in jobs and situations they hate is completely devastating. I feel called to help people recognize what resources they have within them, and I ask that you help me help even more people.
The other thing I want for Christmas is something I hesitated to even mention here. It has to do with politics, which this blog usually isn't as concerned with since it is so much a part of the daily, petty world. I'm more interested in what's eternal, what is Truth, and not as much in what is news and what is the fad of the day.
However, because I believe that our abilities to pursue our own truths--our liberties--are so gravely threatened by the politics of the day, I ask that you take a look--that's all--at Ron Paul's website. I won't say much more--I'm not a big fan of trying to persuade people politically--but if you like what you see, consider telling others and perhaps donating. If you don't, cool. No biggie. We'll still be friends. :-)
That's it--that's all I want for Christmas. Thank you for everything you've already given me, and I look forward to sharing the new year ahead...
The first thing I'd like for Christmas is for you to send a link to this blog to someone if and only if you think they might get something out of it. The major satisfaction I get from this blog is knowing that it might inspire or motivate people to take a look at their lives and make sure they're not wasting the precious time they have here. Life is such a gift, and if you think throwing a $2 million necklace in the ocean is hard to watch, seeing people squander their priceless lives in jobs and situations they hate is completely devastating. I feel called to help people recognize what resources they have within them, and I ask that you help me help even more people.
The other thing I want for Christmas is something I hesitated to even mention here. It has to do with politics, which this blog usually isn't as concerned with since it is so much a part of the daily, petty world. I'm more interested in what's eternal, what is Truth, and not as much in what is news and what is the fad of the day.
However, because I believe that our abilities to pursue our own truths--our liberties--are so gravely threatened by the politics of the day, I ask that you take a look--that's all--at Ron Paul's website. I won't say much more--I'm not a big fan of trying to persuade people politically--but if you like what you see, consider telling others and perhaps donating. If you don't, cool. No biggie. We'll still be friends. :-)
That's it--that's all I want for Christmas. Thank you for everything you've already given me, and I look forward to sharing the new year ahead...
Thursday, December 13, 2007
So, My Brother Sells Lamborghinis...
...and I got to go for a ride around a race track, taking hairpin turns at nearly 80 mph. I was so scared and so exhilarated, I was completely breathless. I think I have a better handle on what the word 'thrill' really means.
OK, so I'm not sure what this has to do with bliss, but c'mon, admit it: It is pretty darn cool. I mean, I don't know about you, but I was a child of the '80s, when Lamborghini posters adorned every little boy's wall. (Or maybe that was just my brother.) Actually, maybe I do know what this has to do with bliss. My brother is pretty close to living his. He is the most amazing car guy ever--knows everything and anything about any car worth knowing anything about, and he has a great passion for the engineering and the racing history and everything car related. He is also dyslexic, and had a hell of a time making it through school. But he struggled like crazy, worked very hard, and got very creative so that he could make it through.
Very few people get to sell Lamborghinis, and he is in that elite group. I am very, very proud of him. But I also know that when I saw his face today on that race track, as he talked about cars and about carbon-fiber struts and "riding the bull," I couldn't help but see the experience of his bliss. He has a knack for cars very few people do, and while many have scoffed at the idea of being a car salesman, he is very, very good at what he does, and he has reached an enormous level of success for being so young. He works hard, but I could tell that he loved being on that track, talking cars with other car enthusiasts. Today didn't seem like work at all for him. I think that's pretty much when you know.
If you think this post is cool, you should subscribe!
Incidentally, if you want to oh, I don't know, buy a Lamborghini, you should contact my brother at khamburger AT boardwalkAG DOT com. Or visit Lamborghini Dallas.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
How A Field of Coconuts Can Lead to Bliss
You know how I told you how to use a blog reader to focus on your goal? How finding blogs on topics related to your interests can help you stay motivated and inspired?
Think of this post as the corollary to that one. What I'd like you to do is try to find a blog or site that is mostly outside your realm of general interest, but that you find fascinating anyway. For me, the importance of going beyond your familiar topics was made abundantly clear yesterday when I stumbled upon (literally--I have no idea how I got there) the Agriculture Biodiversity Weblog, where I read a post about a genebank coconut field that had suffered quite a bit of damage thanks to a surprising number of lightning strikes.
You might be thinking BO-RING, but what finding this blog did for me was to remind me of my interest in science, food and geosocial issues like where food comes from and who eats it and how it is harvested. What I didn't realize that there was something that connected all those interests: agricultural biodiversity.
Then I found another blog that I particularly liked, though for more aesthetic reasons: the Human Flower Project, self described as an effort that's interested in "how people live through flowers."
What I love, beyond the horizon-enlarging nature of going beyond your same-ol' same-ol', is how energizing discovering other people's passions can be. Witnessing the fervor for biodiversity or Afghan flower arranging is a brilliant reminder of how passions enliven the world, how they save the world. And though you may not care for flowers or coconuts, someone out there does, leaving you to pursue what it is you are passionate about. Then, if you're really lucky and a generous soul, you can share your passion and teach others about how it fits in to this crazy world we live in.
So, go! Take an Internet voyage, and don't return until you find your Agricultural Biodiversity Weblog.
One of my passions is helping people to live fuller lives. Subscribe and learn some more!
Think of this post as the corollary to that one. What I'd like you to do is try to find a blog or site that is mostly outside your realm of general interest, but that you find fascinating anyway. For me, the importance of going beyond your familiar topics was made abundantly clear yesterday when I stumbled upon (literally--I have no idea how I got there) the Agriculture Biodiversity Weblog, where I read a post about a genebank coconut field that had suffered quite a bit of damage thanks to a surprising number of lightning strikes.
You might be thinking BO-RING, but what finding this blog did for me was to remind me of my interest in science, food and geosocial issues like where food comes from and who eats it and how it is harvested. What I didn't realize that there was something that connected all those interests: agricultural biodiversity.
Then I found another blog that I particularly liked, though for more aesthetic reasons: the Human Flower Project, self described as an effort that's interested in "how people live through flowers."
What I love, beyond the horizon-enlarging nature of going beyond your same-ol' same-ol', is how energizing discovering other people's passions can be. Witnessing the fervor for biodiversity or Afghan flower arranging is a brilliant reminder of how passions enliven the world, how they save the world. And though you may not care for flowers or coconuts, someone out there does, leaving you to pursue what it is you are passionate about. Then, if you're really lucky and a generous soul, you can share your passion and teach others about how it fits in to this crazy world we live in.
So, go! Take an Internet voyage, and don't return until you find your Agricultural Biodiversity Weblog.
One of my passions is helping people to live fuller lives. Subscribe and learn some more!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
The Upside to Rock Bottom
Consider this quote from Helen Keller:
What's worse is when it happens and then continues for what seems like forever. You're applying for jobs to get away from said petty, mean boss, but nothing turns up. You lose your job just before Christmas when no one is hiring and you can't get a response to anything for months. Your breakup is anything but clean, and devolves into bickering or festering resentment.
In other words, life seems to suck. Often, the advice you get is this: It could be worse. While true, you can't imagine it, and besides, it's already pretty darn bad. Should you be happy with pretty darn bad?
No. But you should be grateful. Grateful that it isn't worse, that it is, in all likelihood, a temporary condition that will not characterize the rest of your life unless you let it.
You should also be grateful for all the things you're about to learn about yourself and about how to deal with a crappy situation. Because so long as you're alive, you can bet life will throw you another crappy situation. Better learn to deal with it now so you won't be so devastated the next time around.
For a time, I envied my friends with inheritances, rich husbands or fat trust funds, frustrated that they didn't have to suffer daily as I did in my miserable government job. They had time to write, the time to think. Why oh why couldn't I be so fortunate? (These thoughts were characteristic of my Early Whining Phase.)
But a funny thing happened thanks to the suffering and the misery--I grew more and more aware of what I wanted, what I needed from my life, my work, and what I was unwilling to tolerate any longer. And as I began to devise ways out of Rock Bottom, population Me, I grew stronger, more creative, more motivated to make it happen.
And when I left the city limits of my bad situation, I realized how much I had grown, how much I had changed, while my friends at 123 Easy St. still seemed comfortable, yes, but not driven, not more capable, and not ready for success or the next hardship.
Now, more than ever, I feel confident that I am the master of my destiny, and that when life tries to throw me off course, that I will know how to handle myself to make the best out of a bad situation. I can't control the future, but I can control my reactions to whatever comes my way.
If I had taken the easy way out and asked someone--my husband, my parents, my friends--to rescue me, there is no way I would be enjoying the success and the thrill of self-determination that I'm experiencing now. I simply needed the struggle, the soul-crushing weight of the world, the seemingly unending darkness of petty minds and dust-filled hearts to inspire me to find a way out, and on my own terms.
If you're in a bad situation, you may wish you had a winning lottery ticket to rescue you, but what you really need is what you already have--a creative mind trapped in a bad situation. Let the struggle strengthen you, and when you're ready to leave, you'll surprise everyone--including yourself--with how easily you snap those chains.
The upside to reading this blog? An encouraging voice in the darkness! Subscribe here.
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.There are times when things seem so bad you want to curse the heavens for making your life so difficult, so confusing, so exhausting. It happens when you have a petty, mean boss. It happens when you lose a job you really need. It happens when a relationship goes to hell. It happens.
What's worse is when it happens and then continues for what seems like forever. You're applying for jobs to get away from said petty, mean boss, but nothing turns up. You lose your job just before Christmas when no one is hiring and you can't get a response to anything for months. Your breakup is anything but clean, and devolves into bickering or festering resentment.
In other words, life seems to suck. Often, the advice you get is this: It could be worse. While true, you can't imagine it, and besides, it's already pretty darn bad. Should you be happy with pretty darn bad?
No. But you should be grateful. Grateful that it isn't worse, that it is, in all likelihood, a temporary condition that will not characterize the rest of your life unless you let it.
You should also be grateful for all the things you're about to learn about yourself and about how to deal with a crappy situation. Because so long as you're alive, you can bet life will throw you another crappy situation. Better learn to deal with it now so you won't be so devastated the next time around.
For a time, I envied my friends with inheritances, rich husbands or fat trust funds, frustrated that they didn't have to suffer daily as I did in my miserable government job. They had time to write, the time to think. Why oh why couldn't I be so fortunate? (These thoughts were characteristic of my Early Whining Phase.)
But a funny thing happened thanks to the suffering and the misery--I grew more and more aware of what I wanted, what I needed from my life, my work, and what I was unwilling to tolerate any longer. And as I began to devise ways out of Rock Bottom, population Me, I grew stronger, more creative, more motivated to make it happen.
And when I left the city limits of my bad situation, I realized how much I had grown, how much I had changed, while my friends at 123 Easy St. still seemed comfortable, yes, but not driven, not more capable, and not ready for success or the next hardship.
Now, more than ever, I feel confident that I am the master of my destiny, and that when life tries to throw me off course, that I will know how to handle myself to make the best out of a bad situation. I can't control the future, but I can control my reactions to whatever comes my way.
If I had taken the easy way out and asked someone--my husband, my parents, my friends--to rescue me, there is no way I would be enjoying the success and the thrill of self-determination that I'm experiencing now. I simply needed the struggle, the soul-crushing weight of the world, the seemingly unending darkness of petty minds and dust-filled hearts to inspire me to find a way out, and on my own terms.
If you're in a bad situation, you may wish you had a winning lottery ticket to rescue you, but what you really need is what you already have--a creative mind trapped in a bad situation. Let the struggle strengthen you, and when you're ready to leave, you'll surprise everyone--including yourself--with how easily you snap those chains.
The upside to reading this blog? An encouraging voice in the darkness! Subscribe here.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
No Excuses
This one will be direct, because I want the message to sink in, to hit home without a lot of distraction.
The secret to your happiness, the secret to finding your bliss, boils down to this, more than anything else: There are no excuses.
Sound harsh? Good. It's what you need to hear. If you hear yourself saying anything remotely like this--"I would take a vacation, but I just can't because..."--then you are making an excuse, and you need to stop. Right. Now.
I'm not trying to be unforgiving. I'm trying to help you see that whatever you want is within your reach, so long as you don't use the word "but" to avoid going after it.
My dear brother told me today that he needs a vacation desperately, to recharge his batteries. He's in sales, so when he takes a vacation, he loses potential income, and his mortgage needs paid. When he told me he couldn't take a vacation because of the house payment, I reminded him that buying his house, at that price, was his choice. No one forced him to do it. It may be true that you can't afford a vacation, but that isn't because of forces outside your control. It's because of your choices.
Once you get your head out of your "but" (ha ha), you will begin to find ways to get what you want, or to decide that what you want isn't really that important to you, it's just something you think you want, or something you want because other people want it for you.
Practice for one day. Heck, start with one hour. Catch yourself every time you're about to make an excuse. We all do it. Just try to be aware of how often you do it, how much those excuses are getting in the way of what you do really want. Imagine how your thinking would change on a day without excuses. Now give it a try! No... well, you know. :-)
No excuses now, subscribe to Gimme Bliss!
The secret to your happiness, the secret to finding your bliss, boils down to this, more than anything else: There are no excuses.
Sound harsh? Good. It's what you need to hear. If you hear yourself saying anything remotely like this--"I would take a vacation, but I just can't because..."--then you are making an excuse, and you need to stop. Right. Now.
I'm not trying to be unforgiving. I'm trying to help you see that whatever you want is within your reach, so long as you don't use the word "but" to avoid going after it.
My dear brother told me today that he needs a vacation desperately, to recharge his batteries. He's in sales, so when he takes a vacation, he loses potential income, and his mortgage needs paid. When he told me he couldn't take a vacation because of the house payment, I reminded him that buying his house, at that price, was his choice. No one forced him to do it. It may be true that you can't afford a vacation, but that isn't because of forces outside your control. It's because of your choices.
- You choose to spend money on other things.
- You choose to define the word "vacation" too narrowly.
- You choose to work a certain kind of job.
- You choose to spend the free time you do have on other things.
- You choose not to make a plan for how to afford a vacation.
Once you get your head out of your "but" (ha ha), you will begin to find ways to get what you want, or to decide that what you want isn't really that important to you, it's just something you think you want, or something you want because other people want it for you.
Practice for one day. Heck, start with one hour. Catch yourself every time you're about to make an excuse. We all do it. Just try to be aware of how often you do it, how much those excuses are getting in the way of what you do really want. Imagine how your thinking would change on a day without excuses. Now give it a try! No... well, you know. :-)
No excuses now, subscribe to Gimme Bliss!
Monday, December 3, 2007
What Are You Against?
One way to find out your path is to figure out what you like, what interests you, what you're good at.
This is the positive image, the ideas and traits and talents that define who you are. Another way to find your path is to look at the negative image, or the things that define who you are not.
I've been thinking about this recently as I think about the people I know or know of--be they politicians, businesspeople, neighbors, whoever--who walk a path I never could.
They are people who make choices that I am unequivocally against: Corruption, apathy, abject wastefulness, conformity for conformity's sake.
We live in a world where it is often unfashionable or uncomfortable to say you are against something. I'm not for intolerance, but I am for discernment: I am for saying that some things are better than others. If someone disagrees, okay, let's debate, but that doesn't mean I'm bad or you're bad if we have strongly held beliefs, and finding someone with beliefs other than yours is certainly not the time to end the discussion, but rather a critical--the most critical--time to engage in it.
I feel like people are afraid to say they are against anything. But if we are not strongly against anything, we are not strongly for anything, either. What is your philosophy of life? Who are you not? What are you not willing to do, under any circumstances? Can you point to principles that you hold dearly?
I ask because principles and philosophies are a way to build a life that is larger than you--a life that has something of the heroic in it, a life that isn't just about petty needs and daily exigencies.
Tell me in the comments who you are not. I hope this doesn't come off as high-minded or self-righteous. I can point to moments where I wish I had acted to fight something I found insidious--like government corruption--and I didn't. I'm not sure what I will do the next time, but I think defining this aspect of yourself is a way to avoid the regrets of inaction.
What do you think?
This is the positive image, the ideas and traits and talents that define who you are. Another way to find your path is to look at the negative image, or the things that define who you are not.
I've been thinking about this recently as I think about the people I know or know of--be they politicians, businesspeople, neighbors, whoever--who walk a path I never could.
They are people who make choices that I am unequivocally against: Corruption, apathy, abject wastefulness, conformity for conformity's sake.
We live in a world where it is often unfashionable or uncomfortable to say you are against something. I'm not for intolerance, but I am for discernment: I am for saying that some things are better than others. If someone disagrees, okay, let's debate, but that doesn't mean I'm bad or you're bad if we have strongly held beliefs, and finding someone with beliefs other than yours is certainly not the time to end the discussion, but rather a critical--the most critical--time to engage in it.
I feel like people are afraid to say they are against anything. But if we are not strongly against anything, we are not strongly for anything, either. What is your philosophy of life? Who are you not? What are you not willing to do, under any circumstances? Can you point to principles that you hold dearly?
I ask because principles and philosophies are a way to build a life that is larger than you--a life that has something of the heroic in it, a life that isn't just about petty needs and daily exigencies.
Tell me in the comments who you are not. I hope this doesn't come off as high-minded or self-righteous. I can point to moments where I wish I had acted to fight something I found insidious--like government corruption--and I didn't. I'm not sure what I will do the next time, but I think defining this aspect of yourself is a way to avoid the regrets of inaction.
What do you think?
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