Find Your Self. Then Trust It.

There is a woman I know who fascinates me, though not for admirable reasons. Instead, I am fascinated by the smallness and sadness of her life--how anyone can be in such a sorry place as she!

Well into middle age, this person is completely, utterly incapable of making a decision. And when a choice seems to be made, it is later revealed to have been an arbitrary one, as random as throwing a dart. When someone asks her opinion, she usually turns to the questioner and says: "I don't know--what do you think?"

I thought perhaps this inability to make a decision or express a strong opinion came out of fear. And while that certainly is part of it, I've recently come to the theory that perhaps the primary reason she can't make a decision is that there is no self there. After all, when someone asks you what you think or what you want to do, you must first go inside yourself for a split-second, and ask yourself. In other words, you consult your self. If you have no self--and by that I mean a vital spirit with a will and a mind and the lessons of experience--there is no one to answer those questions.

As I've grown older, I've noticed this self of mine growing stronger and more potent, more confident that I know who I am and where I've been, and where I'm going. This takes time, and is one of the reasons younger people--especially teenagers--can be so easily led. They simply haven't had as much time to develop themselves.

Of course, one expects that by a certain point, you will begin to form and take shape, and that you will soon be making contributions of voice and opinion and action, and will no longer be a suggestible vessel. Which is why it's so sad when you see older people who still seem so vacant.

This post does not pose any easy solutions. In fact, I believe that finding your self is in some ways the holy grail of personal development. So what can I tell you? Well, I can share some observations based on my own life experience and extrapolate from there.

What keeps you from having a strong sense of self?

1. Fear. Generally a fear of what other people think. Paralyzed into inaction or indecision for fear of going against what is socially accepted.
2. Denial. In that you refuse to acknowledge your truths, because it is too hard or too painful. You really want to be a musician, but that path seems so difficult. It is easier to opt for the stable job with the stable salary. By denying who you are, your self begins to wither.
3. Insecurity / Lack of confidence. What do you know? Why would anyone trust your opinion or your course of action? Despite the fact that you have life experiences and a unique mind and personality, you devalue your voice to the point that not only do you feel that others shouldn't listen to you, but you begin to lose all faith in yourself.
   

These are the biggies, though of course I'm sure there are subsidiary reasons. But all of these erode your sense of self to such a point that you become lost, your spirit a dim light among the shadows. The good news is you're still there, but only you can go within to fan the flame and help it to burn brighter. Again, it all goes back to your own willingness to change.

Now, developing your self and trusting in it are two different things. You can have a sense of who you are and what you think, and yet still be unable to trust in it. Of course it helps when you have someone--a loved one, friend or family member--who believes in you. But no one can teach you to believe in yourself. Again, it must come from within.

So how do you learn to trust yourself?
This has no easy answer, but here are some ideas for where to start.

1. Stop worrying what others will think. What is the worst that can happen, honestly? What, someone will laugh at you? Hate you? Think you are stupid? Well, let me ask you this: Have you ever laughed at someone? Thought they were stupid? Hated them? Guess what--you have no control over what other people think of you, and thinking you do is nothing but a delusion. No matter how hard you try, there will always be people who you will not get along with or who won't care for you--but it's nothing personal, and in fact, the harder you try to get everyone to like you, the more likely you'll lose respect--theirs and your own.
2. Find out who you are. Of course, that's kind of the point of every article on this blog, so it's not likely this is an overnight solution. This could be your life's journey, but so long as you're taking it, you're doing all you can to get into harmony with your truest self. Begin by asking for help. When you do this, you reawaken parts of your self that have been dormant, but that when revived, will strengthen you in so many ways.
3. Learn to listen to yourself. I don't care how long you've been ignoring that voice inside you, so long as you're alive, it's still there. It may be tiny--only a croak--but if you get very quiet, you can hear it. Begin first by simply acknowledging its existence, and then, when you're aware it's there, begin by listening to it. Hear your thoughts and desires and ideas and opinions, and just let them be. Don't dismiss them. Just listen. At some point, you'll realize that you have something unique to contribute, and you will begin to allow that voice to actually reach your throat and be spoken. It may take awhile. Be patient.

Now, what do I know about all this? Well, when I started my MFA program, I was suddenly confronted by a large, critical audience for stories that previously I'd pretty much just kept to myself. I found that I was suddenly paralyzed by writer's block, and that I had lost all ability to trust myself as a writer.

After a year or so, I realized that I was worrying too much what others thought, and not trusting my own voice. Now, was it valuable for me to go through this crisis? Probably. Why? Because when I came out of it (and I eventually did) not only had I learned to listen to other people, but I also learned how to ignore them. In other words, I was able to discern for myself which criticism was valuable and which was not in line with my vision as a writer. I was so much more confident in my voice, my sense of self, and my convictions. It took a long time, but I finally knew who I was as a writer. This isn't to say that I'm not still growing and learning--I am. But I now have an unshakeable foundation on which to build.

So if you haven't already, find your self. Say hi. Take it out for a drive or a walk. Get to know it. And then, when you know each other for a while, make a commitment. Bring it home. Sleep next to it. Eat breakfast with it. Soon, you and your self will be joined at the hip, and you'll be ready for anything.

Trust me. Or better yet, trust you. Trusting your self is one of the most important steps on your journey toward bliss.

Gimme Bliss: Birthday Edition

This picture, from a Washington Post article, shows 87-year-old yoga master Tao Porchon-Lynch doing the peacock pose. If it looks difficult, that's because it is. Right now, I couldn't do it.

My yoga teacher handed this photo out in a recent class, along with this question: "How old would you feel if you did not know your age?"

Now, it felt as though this class were made just for me, because I am turning thirty this week, and as anyone who has approached a milestone birthday knows, there is a lot of reflection and self-evaluation going on as you approach the day.

My teacher went on: "What would you do if you didn't know your age? Would you be saying, 'I should do this,' 'I can't do that?' If you didn't know your age, would you just simply live, doing what your heart guided you to do?"

I know that I've felt this sense of "should" and "must" and "can't" in my own life, and often it does have to do with a number. "Oh, by 27, I should be at this stage in my career," and "After 30, I can't wear this or that." The woman above is evidence that this kind of thinking is usually bollocks.

I think people use age as a rationalization for not taking responsibility over their own lives, making it an excuse for not acting, when really the reason is fear. About the only thing I can think of that is truly age-determined is a woman's fertility. (Which does make a woman's decision making process that much more complicated. But it still isn't an excuse for not living your fullest life.)

Instead of using your age as an excuse, use it as a reminder.

• Remind yourself that time is passing. This is not a bad thing to remember! Sometimes, our lives can become so routine and similar that it may feel like Groundhog Day--each day is the same one, lived over again. Confront time, and resolve to acknowledge the finitude of your life. A little birthday jolt may not feel great initially, but if you don't turn away, it can be exactly what you need to sort out your life.
  
  
• Acknowledge your responsibility over your life. You're an adult, and no one--not your mom, not your spouse, not your boss or kids or dog--can make a change for you. You are the only one with the power to change your life for the better. So another year has passed? Big deal. You can get cracking on change today, and have a much better life by next year.
  
  
• Remember that you are not just the age you currently are, but all the ages that have come before. Think of your past years as the chambers of a nautilus. You have moved into a new year, but it is in addition to what has come before, not a replacement. What good does this do you? Think of the time you did something very brave because you weren't old enough to know better. You still have that person within you. Think of the kid who used to laugh uncontrollably when someone told a silly joke. You are still capable of that, too. Summon your experiences to aid you. You'd be amazed at all the things you can do and that you've accomplished if you only took the time to remember them.
  
  
• Remember that life is a gift. Even in the darkest moments, that we have the chance to mess up and try again is an enormously heartening thing to remember. Of course things will go badly sometimes, but hey, you're still here. These conditions are temporary, and even better, you can change them. And, even if you can't change your conditions, you can change your perspective on them.
  
  
• Remember that life is fun. No matter how old we grow, we have a child inside us. We have the ability to see life as play, which many child-development specialists have said is the most important kind of learning kids can do. This is why I intend to go mini-golfing on my 30th birthday. Treat the kid inside you every once in a while to some fun or goofiness, and youth will always be yours.

Happy 30th birthday to me, and happy birthday to you. Hooray for birthdays! Let's eat some cake!

Follow Your Bliss and Save the World

As you consider making a change in your life, you may have the thought that doing so is selfish, or useless, or unimportant. After all, if becoming a craft brewer is what you have dreamed of doing for years, it hardly seems like curing cancer.

And yet. And yet, the positive force of doing what you love, what you are uniquely suited to do, is important in and of itself. The presence of a completely alive person in the world, no matter the occupation, does so much more for the world than sleepwalking through your life, miserable, barely present, unengaged with the people and places around you.

By following your passion, you become a vitalizing force in the world, which the world always needs more of.

Mythology scholar Joseph Campbell had this to say in The Power of Myth:

Campbell: My general formula for my students is "Follow your bliss." Find where it is, and don't be afraid to follow it.

Moyers: Is it my work or my life?

Campbell: If the work that you're doing is the work that you chose to do because you are enjoying it, that's it. Buf if you think, "Oh, no! I couldn't do that!" that's the dragon locking you in.

Moyers: In this sense, unlike heroes such as Prometheus or Jesus, we're not going on our journey to save the world but to save ourselves.

Campbell: But in doing that, you save the world. The influence of a vital person vitalizes, there's no doubt about it. The world without spirit is a wasteland. People have the notion of saving the world by shifting things around, changing the rules, and who's on top, and so forth. No, no! Any world is a valid world if it's alive. The thing to do is to bring life to it, and the only way to do that is to find in your own case where the life is and become alive yourself.

So many people worry that what they want to do might seem stupid or insignificant to someone else. First off, I say, so what? Who cares what some jackass thinks? And second, I say, well, it depends on context. I spent two years earning an MFA in Fiction, which to most of the people I work with now seems totally stupid and like a waste of time, but to the people I studied with, and to me, even today, writing fiction is one of the best uses of my time. Do I care what my coworkers think about fiction? Nope. It's frustrating sometimes, but writing fiction is true and real for me, and so I try to seek out like-minded people who share my passion.

Don't worry about being a lawyer or a doctor or a Ph.D. Find what can revive your spirit, and throw yourself into that. Even if it's brewing your own beer. I think we can all agree that there are times when a really great beer seems to be the only redeeming thing about the world. And what would we do if no one cared to do it?

I shudder to think. So find your thing and do it well. The world you save may be your own.


Related posts:
Bliss is in Your Nature
What Is Bliss?

Focus on Your Goal with Google Reader

So today we're taking a little rest from the real dreamy, conceptual stuff to focus on a practical tool that I am finding to be extremely helpful in keeping my eye on the prize.

Just by virtue of the fact that you're reading a blog, you are likely light-years ahead of me when it comes to the miracle that is the feed reader. But on the off chance that you're more like me, and not entirely sure about all this newfangled technology, or perhaps you just haven't considered all the uses of a feed reader, then this post is for you.

Here's what I've recently discovered. You have a goal. You want to become an entrepreneur, or freelance, or learn how to repurpose Ikea. Whatever it is, there's a blog about it. With a feed reader--I use Google Reader--you can syndicate this content to your desktop or browser--or in several locations. (Probably. I'm getting into waters a little too deep for me here. All I know is that I can add Google Reader to my iGoogle page, and voila, I'm set.)

Right now, my Google Reader is chock full of blogs posting about a few things:

• Simplifying your life (Unclutterer, Zen Habits)
• Changing careers (Anti 9-to-5, HeyMarci)
• Inspiration and brain food (Escape from Cubicle Nation, Arts & Letters Daily, Lifehacker)

Do you remember those battery-operated refrigerator pigs they used to sell? Every time you opened the door and the light went on, the pig would oink at you. Now, if you still felt like reaching for a slice of chocolate cake, OK, but hey, guess what? Oink, oink! The idea there, obviously, was to keep you focused on your diet. I'm not sure I like the idea of a tiny, judgmental pig, but it must have worked for some people, because those things were everywhere.

Anyway, the point is, frequent reminders of your goal is one method of staying focused. If you are trying to find your bliss, I am suggesting that it may be very helpful to use a feed reader in a couple of ways:

1. Explore subjects that interest you. If you are thinking of doing landscape architecture, find all the blogs you can on the subject. Because they are so niche specific, you will find they get into the nitty gritty minutiae that only true enthusiasts can tolerate. If you find that you aren't interested in the minutiae, you may want to give that leap a second thought. If, on the other hand, discussing soil density and hardiness zones gets your pulse going, then Bingo! You may have found a viable career path to your bliss.
2. Get encouragement, advice, ideas in your subject area. If you want to go after that landscape architecture path, before you take the leap, you may want to examine the ins and outs of getting there and discover where you fit in within the field.
   
3. Make contacts. Unless you're dealing with megastar bloggers, most bloggers are very approachable and excited to discuss their passions. You may solicit advice from a few, or see if they have contacts in your part of the country who might be willing to help you pursue your interest.
   
4. Remind yourself of what you're after. I find that after a long day at work, or even 30 minutes in, but after a 15 minute hell meeting, I can get disoriented, discouraged, frustrated that I'm where I am. I can find myself doubting that I'll ever escape cubicle hell, worried that I will turn into the Vogons that I run into on the elevator, their bodies soft, their posture a defeated slump, their eyes rolling loosely in their sockets, with no real focus. Ack! I think, What ever will I do? And then I get a beautiful missive from the Universe (via my feed reader) reminding me that there is hope, there is practical advice, there are people who have succeeded! This keeps me from falling into a useless morass of despair, and sometimes that kind of reminder is all you need to keep going.

So try a feed reader. You just might find it's the refrigerator pig you never knew you always needed.

Look Up.

This photo was taken at St. Vitus Cathedral in Prague, Czech Republic. One of the things I like about this photo is what it illustrates about what you can see and how things seem when you approach them from a different angle. In this case, very close to the wall, and looking straight up.

I love the shape of the buttresses against the sky, and the amazing, leaping silhouettes of the the gargoyle rain spouts. This perspective changes the angles, the shape, the movement of the church, and presents to view an abstraction of a fairly typical medieval church. It is suddenly not typical, but nothing material has changed--it is abstracted and changed only through the chosen perspective.

What typical, mundane element can you take from your life and view through a new angle? Maybe you hate your job, but if you choose to see it as funding for the next step--really, as the salary for research--then it takes on a different role in your psyche, doesn't it?

Maybe you dislike cooking dinner--every night we have to eat! why haven't they invented a meal pill already?--but as you stir the ground beef for spaghetti, you count the number of stirs through the dish, performing a mind-clearing meditation you might otherwise not have time for.

For a semester in college, I lived in New York City for the first time. One of the many things I noticed while living there was how infrequently people looked up. In fact, you could often tell the tourists from the natives by who was looking up and who was looking down, averting their eyes and mostly staring impenetrably ahead into some indeterminate middle distance. I remember looking up from time to time, every time being awestruck by so many things: the almost total obliteration of the sky by tall buildings, by the monumental human effort of such a skyline, and, every once in a while, by the way the sun and clouds were framed by the crenellated sky. One of my favorite memories, in fact, is coming in from LaGuardia during sunset, the low, orange orb of the sun being perfectly suspended between the Twin Towers, as though it were gently wedged there. I remember thinking: Such a thing to be privileged to see! What an astonishing world, where the buildings seem higher than the sun.

My point is this: Look up. What do you notice? What is different than you thought it would be? And when you find something surprising, how does it make you feel?

Brazen Careerist blogger Penelope Trunk reports in a post about starting your own business:

Seventy-five percent of people report that negative thinking goes away if you look toward the sky.

Remember that so much of how we see the world is based on the perspectives we hold. Just remember that those perspectives are anything but fixed, and that you have the power to see things differently.

Buy Experience. Don't Buy Things.

OK, so that may be a bit of an oversimplification. I'll modify it thusly: whenever you can, use your money for experience over things. Obviously if you need shoes or a place to sit, you should buy shoes and a couch or chair.

But when you are at a point where you have some discretionary funds--amounts you will choose to spend on yourself in some kind of "fun" way, my advice is to pretty much always buy experience over things.

What does that mean? (And why am I denying you a new purse or the iPod of your dreams?) To me, it means using your "extra" money to gain:

1. Experience
2. Education
3. Improved Health / Well-being

So, instead of the $400 purse, take a $400 plane trip to visit your best friend from college that you haven't seen in ages. Why? The purse is nice, yes, but what do you get from it? Does it love you? Comfort you? Listen to you? Make memories with you? No, of course not. Not in any meaningful way. (And if you're talking to a purse, perhaps my advice will not be so helpful to you. Ahem.) But when you visit a friend with that money, you gain a strengthened friendship, and, not to sound too corny, but you will have memories that may sustain you for years, even a lifetime.

Or let's say you are considering quitting your job to do freelance design work, but you really need to learn some new software. That money can go toward a class at a community college or the like, where you will come away with something of real value--namely an improved and better educated you--instead of a thing that will be unfashionable/obsolete in six months. (At some point in a future post, I will address the value of spending money for things that are well-made classics, that you can use for a very, very long time.)

Or perhaps you have $150 you can spend on shoes (can you tell I have a bit of a shoe weakness?) or on 10 weeks of yoga. Pick the yoga or gym membership or massage therapy! The kind of improved health and wellness that comes from those things will far outlast the material thing, and will ripple throughout other aspects of your life. You may have a better relationship with your spouse, be a better employee, or just have an improved sense of confidence, which is something no pair of shoes can promise. (OK, so maybe, sometimes, the shoes--if they're really shiny and beautiful--build up confidence, but I usually find this to be so temporary as to almost be a negligible effect.)

I've been thinking about this today because I found the website Unclutterer.com, which is like the blog version of Clean Sweep or Real Simple. Once there, I found the essay Against Stuff, by Paul Graham, some computer guy I have to admit I'd never heard of. So I can't evaluate his geek cred, but he has some seriously insightful things to say about the burden of things:

"What I didn't understand was that the value of some new acquisition wasn't the difference between its retail price and what I paid for it. It was the value I derived from it. Stuff is an extremely illiquid asset. Unless you have some plan for selling that valuable thing you got so cheaply, what difference does it make what it's "worth?" The only way you're ever going to extract any value from it is to use it.

I don't know about you, but for me, this time I have on Earth is so much about experiencing what I can, with the body and mind I have, in the time I have. Anything I can do to have amazing experiences, learn new things, and take care of myself so I can have amazing experiences and learn new things is what I want to spend my money on. Yes, I have a nice dining table. But I will never replace it, because I bought one that will last me forever and will never go out of style. This frees me up for trips to Prague, visits with friends in other states, and a house just big enough for me and my husband (and dog!), which means a very reasonable mortgage payment, and one that we can still afford if one of us lost our jobs or needed to quit.

Some people see experience as "consumable," in that once the experience is over, you have nothing really tangible (save photos) to show for it. But I would much rather have drunk Czech beer and stood on the Charles Bridge than have a fashionable outfit. Obviously this is a matter of priority, but if you're serious about pursuing a life you love, this is worth contemplating.

After all, which will teach you more about the kind of person you are: Reading train schedules in Czech (when you don't know Czech and are trying desperately not to miss a train) or carrying something a magazine told you was fashionable?

Experience and education and good health increases your wisdom, happiness, bliss. Stuff just increases your need for storage. To me, it's no contest.

Language Day: Word Origins and Bliss

Wednesday is language day at Gimme Bliss, and today I want to talk about word origins. Last week, I wrote about the need to be specific in language, which helps you articulate what it is you want to say to yourself and to others.

One way to achieve this is to examine the origins and evolution of words, a field known as etymology. (No, not bugs.) Basically, etymology examines the first known appearance of a word, its original meaning, and how it has changed over time.

If you're a word nerd like me, you'll love this stuff. Even if you think words are for email and talking and anything beyond that is for Scrabble freaks or bookworms, you can still get something out of delving a little deeper.

First, here are some etymology resources:

1. The Online Etymology Dictionary
2. Dictionary of Word Origins by John Ayto
3. Chambers Dictionary of Etymology

(The first is a fine place to begin, though not extensive; the second is a very thorough, user-friendly guide of over 8,000 words; the last is a beautiful beast that covers over 25,000 words, and is probably only for the most zealous.)

So, how can knowing the history of a word bring you to your bliss? Well, sometimes we forget that words contain multitudes. We speak quickly, skim emails, don't stop to think that words are tiny, portable antiques with all the richness and patina of their travels through history. (Well, maybe not ginormous, but I digress. And besides, ginormous might be considered quite formal in 2752.)

For example, did you know that the word deer once was the Old English word for 'animal'? Or that villain once simply meant 'farmer'? Probably not. After all, why would you worry about what people who have been dead for 600 years thought a word meant? Well, you certainly wouldn't want to worry about it every day, but in times of contemplation, it might be instructive, helpful, even encouraging to know what the big idea words--bliss, courage, bravery, passion--hold within them.

Courage has the root for 'heart' within it. Bliss carries the Germanic meaning 'gentle, kind' as its source. Bravery has at its root the senses 'uncivilized, savage, wild.' The word passion originally meant 'suffering.'

So basically, if you follow your bliss, you are a gentle, yet uncivilized, suffering heart. Well, who wouldn't sign up for that job description?

Kidding aside, you realize, if you are on this journey, that following your bliss might make you less angry. When you no longer are behaving inauthentically, you might be less prone to snap at people, flip them off in traffic. If you pursue your dreams with courage, it makes sense that you are first and foremost leading with your heart. If you are bravely pursuing a conscious life, you are likely on the outer edge of societal acceptance, seeming a bit wild and uncivilized to the more conventional around you. And when you have found your passion, you probably recognize you must make sacrifices to obtain it, and that its attainment will not be without struggle and heartache.

It makes a little more sense now, doesn't it?

Pursue any words that keep recurring to you. If you are pondering why you are so afraid to take the leap, look up the word fear. (Originally meaning 'danger, peril'.) If you are at what feels like rock bottom, look up despair. (Etymologically, 'lack of hope.')

You get the picture. Once you have a handle on the words that describe your feelings, your situation, you gain an appreciation for the forces working with and against you, and suddenly, you have a better sense of how to harness and deflect these forces. In other words, know thine friends and thine enemies.

Yes, they're just words, but the proverb "The pen is mightier than the sword" would not carry the weight it still does if there was not force and power and history behind them.

Related posts:
Better Living Through Editing

Labor Day Meditation

I'm taking today off, but I wanted to leave you with a photo meditation. This was taken this May at Lost Maples State Park, about an hour and a half southwest of Austin. It is a beautiful place, which this picture barely hints at.

Take a look at this seemingly simple landscape. The rolling hills, the greenery covering the land. The haze of distance, the elegance of the live oak branch entering the frame.

Look at it. Think of how much time went in to the creation of this place. Think of the creatures unseen in this photo. Think of the insects flying through the air. The trillions upon trillions of living bacteria in the soil.

Think of what is beyond our perception at any given time, yet what exists nonetheless. Now, what is happening within you?

Best wishes for a restful holiday.

How Having Faith Can Lead You to Bliss

Right now, the word "faith" has a political association that I'd like to immediately dispatch. Let's just say that the faith I reference in this post's headline has more to do with the ability to trust in something you cannot objectively prove or know, whether that is a deity, an idea or yourself.

I'm thinking about this today because I go to a wonderful yoga studio every Sunday, and I find the connection with a larger force that one is meant to get in a church, but that I, personally, have rarely found there. To me, going to Sunday morning yoga is like going to church and getting all the things church is supposed to do for me, plus even more.

It doesn't really matter that I find this feeling at yoga. If it happens for you in church or during a walk in the woods, that is what I'm talking about. If you know where you get this feeling of connecting with a sense of purpose or awe that is larger than what you know empirically, objectively, good--keep going back to it. That is a place where your consciousness gets a tune-up, where your thoughts are least distorted, and where what you are meant for has the best chance of coming through. I'll talk more about the relationship between being, consciousness and bliss in a moment, but let me address how to get to this place if you're like I was several years ago, and you couldn't find that feeling.

For a very long while--for me, beginning in junior high till a few years post college--I could not summon that feeling of connection with something larger than myself. I had studied science extensively, and in my search for meaning, I found that somewhere along the way, science's objectivity (or its appearance of objectivity) became my Rosetta Stone. I dismissed all things that could not be submitted to the rigors of the scientific method, especially faith.

Long story short, through some very trying experiences, where I found my world turned upside down, I discovered that not only did I have seemingly limitless inner resources to draw from, but that life and people contained a mystery and a beauty that I could not explain but that I found inspiring. While I did not abandon science, considering it to this day as one of humanity's highest achievements, I expanded my outlook to include that which transcended explanation, duality, time. (OK, this is kind of a heavy post, I realize. Stick with me here for just a little while longer.)

When I realized that not only did I not have all the answers but that it was possible that there were some things beyond direct understanding, but maybe accessible through symbol, metaphor, myth, I began to find myself capable of taking leaps that before had seemed impossible.

It's like that scene in the Dagobah swamp where Yoda is trying to get Luke to lift the X-wing fighter out of the swamp. Luke tries to use the force, and eventually declares: "I can't. It's too big."

Then Yoda counters, in one of the most inspiring scenes ever filmed:

“Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.”

When I closed my eyes and believed, I succeeded. Nothing but faith could have gotten me to jump, but once I did, I succeeded, just as Yoda did in pulling the X-wing out of the swamp.

So back to cultivating faith. Joseph Campbell talks of how he came to the theory of following one's bliss, saying:

"...in Sanskrit, there are three terms that represent the brink, the jumping-off place to the ocean of transcendence: Sat, Chit, Ananda. The word 'Sat' means being. 'Chit' means consciousness. 'Ananda' means bliss or rapture. I thought, 'I don't know whether my consciousness is proper consciousness or not; I don't know whether what I know of my eing is my proper being or not; but I do know where my rapture is. So let me hang on to my rapture, and that will bring me both my consciousness and my being."

For those who are maybe less certain of what their bliss is, perhaps going though consciousness is a path toward bliss. I believe they are interrelated, and that finding something to believe in--whatever faith you can summon, in whatever form it comes--is a path to a consciousness that is open to finding bliss.

Whew. Again, kinda deep, but I hope something in here speaks to you, and gives you ideas for yet another path to finding your bliss.

Related posts:
Ask the Universe for Help in Finding Your Bliss

Gimme Financial Freedom, Gimme Bliss

Finding what you're meant to do is one thing. Actually being able to afford it is another. Which is why I think focusing on the financial realities of pursuing your bliss is definitely worth thinking about. After all, this is meant to be a practical guide, no?

I've been mulling this over myself a great deal, especially as I begin to visualize the next steps of my life and decide whether to chuck the stable salary and jump full time into the world of freelancing and multiple income streams. A book I've found extremely useful in this endeavor is Michelle Goodman's funny, helpful, inspiring book, The Anti 9-to-5 Guide. She talks a lot about figuring out what your budget is, figuring out what you can make, how much your business/service will cost you to set up, etc.

The contribution I hope to add here isn't so much practical in terms of accounting, but in a larger attitude shift on how you relate to money. The question here isn't so much, What can I make? but rather, What do I want from money?

Here is where most people say, Well, I'd like to eat, Tiffany, how about you? Yes, eating is good! I'm for eating! And having good shelter, and shoes and enough money to fix the car. Absolutely. This is not where I advocate either living the life of an ascetic, or making terrible sacrifices to your health or welfare.

This is where I advocate taking a long, hard look at what you want from the money you do earn. Do you really want a number, i.e. $60,000, or an experience, i.e. enough money to pay your bills and take a nice vacation once a year? In other words, don't fixate on the dollar figure, but figure out what kind of life is important for you, personally, to live, and how much you really, honestly need to make that happen. Yes, money is nice, but I know too many people who have this idea that if they only made this much, then things would really take shape.

It is my belief that money should represent something to you. For me, having a certain amount represents the freedom to do what I want for a living. Basically, I want that from my money. And as I said earlier, I am in the process of figuring out how much money gets me that freedom. I may be strange, but I've never wanted money just for the sake of having it. Even though I'm incredibly frugal. In fact, I think my frugality comes from this sense that whenever I save something I see it as something I really want--a trip to see a friend, or a cushion for when I do start my freelance career and really need it.

So, here is a list of questions you might want to ask yourself:

1. What do I want from money?
2. What do I see when I see money? Do I see an abstract "wealth," or do I see an image of myself living a certain kind of life?
3. How badly do I want to make money beyond what will pay my bills and allow me to live comfortably? Why is it this amount and why might I want it so badly?
4. Have my feelings toward money ever made me do something I didn't want to do or something I wasn't proud of?
5. What is the minimum figure of income that I need to make to feel secure? What makes that number seem reasonable?
6. Is that minimum number possible in a career that feels more in line with who I am and what I'm meant to do?


In America, it is difficult to talk, and sometimes even think about, what money really means to us, and what we really want from it. There's sort of an assumption that more is better, and that the more you have, the better everything is. If you challenge that, or find that you don't particularly care to give over your life for more and more money, you can find yourself doubting your normalcy or even feeling guilty about your level of ambition. One thing that we should all do, regardless of our current income is to save. Even if we don't know what our relationship toward money is just yet, we can make sure we have a little extra when we do figure it out, and that our dreams don't have to be delayed (or at least delayed as long) because of money.

Something that's important to remember is that when you do something you love, you tend to do it with more enthusiasm. I don't know about you, but it seems like doing an awesome job at something you love instead of a half-hearted effort at something you hate might actually pay off--financially as well as spiritually. One of Joseph Campbell's corollaries to "follow your bliss" was this: "Follow your bliss, and the money will follow."

Good luck as you contemplate these questions; I'll update you on any changes in my own financial outlook as I take the next steps on my journey.